What does it mean to be 'successful'?

Success: The attainment of fame, wealth or social status (Definition from Oxford Languages)

Let’s discuss.

Success to me means absolutely none of these things. To me, success means something completely different. I would regard myself as reasonably ‘successful’ but I am not famous, wealthy or of a particularly high social status. I do however have freedom, happiness and a feeling of contentment. The three things I would personally regard as attributes of ‘success’.

Let me break each of these components down, starting with freedom.

The type of freedom I regard as important is the freedom to choose how I spend my time. Within reason. You may have to work 37 hours a week but you should still have the ability to choose what you do with the other 131 hours in your week to do things that YOU want to…. Not things that you HAVE to do, not things that other people want you to do but purely things that you want to fill your time with. For me, this is incredibly important and it will look different for everyone. For example, I spend my 131 free hours in a week working on my self-development, my health and well-being, working out, going on long walks, being with my horses (if you didn’t know I am a huge introvert, here’s the proof!!!) Oh, and sleeping! Other people’s lists will look different but the important thing is that the list must be filled with things that you LOVE doing. I know I would choose freedom and time to do the things I love over fame and wealth any day.

The second type of freedom I regard as being intrinsic to success is financial freedom which is defined as the ability to live the life you want without being constrained by not having enough money. Let me be clear that financial freedom is different to having lots of money. It’s about having the ability to make life decisions without being overly stressed about the financial impact of your decisions. For example, being able to go on a day trip, weekend away, a Caribbean holiday, buy new things…. whatever it is that you want, and being able to make this decision without it causing you financial stress. It’s about being in a position where you control your finances instead of them controlling you. You could be a millionaire and have financial freedom but you could also have £100 and have financial freedom - it’s subjective based on what life decisions you make and the things you aspire to do and have.

The second element of my personal definition of success is happiness, one of the most important but often forgotten attributes of success. We see people with fame, wealth and of high social status and regard them as successful, but would we really want to be these people? Many of whom are incredibly unhappy on the inside, I know I wouldn’t want to be. I don’t see why having a particular car, social media followers or a particular job is regarded as something we should all aspire to, if despite all of these things you will be incredibly unhappy. Personally I would rather wake up every day happy but with very little else in my life, than wake up with a job which pays me double and a car worth £50k but be incredibly sad. Social media has led us to believe that fame, wealth and social status are the things that define success however if happiness was regarded as the highest form of success, I am sure the list of people we view as ‘successful’ would look very different.

Closely linked to happiness is the feeling of contentment, defined as a state of happiness and satisfaction. I think of contentment as waking up in the morning and feeling like I have everything I could possibly want or need. Unfortunately as a society we always think we’ll be happier when we have this or when we’ve done that, but you must be grateful for what you have at the moment. Practising gratitude can improve your feeling of contentment by being grateful for things you take for granted such as good food, a salary, somewhere to live, safety, friends and family. Gratitude is the highest vibration (energy/state) you can feel and I truly believe by being grateful for what you have, you will instantly feel more content which will lead to a feeling of happiness.

I want you to think about what ‘success’ means to you and use this as your own measure of success. If we constantly think we have to be famous or incredibly wealthy to be deemed a ‘success’ then 99% of us will never be a success…. which is simply not true. Your criteria for success is likely to look different to mine and that’s great! We must get out of this mindset of success being something which is unattainable for the most of us and that a successful person has X, Y or Z. We can all be ‘successful’ in our own right and we can all decide what success looks and feels like for ourselves.

The definition need not be universal.

Thank you as always for reading.

Love Alice

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